The Epical Conclusion

Now we have come to the sixth and last book of The Princess Tales: The Fairy's Return. The ending is based off of "The Golden Goose." Soo... Can you guess which fairy returns?

The very first one, of course! Remember, the one that messed up so badly with Rosella and Myrtle? How long has it been since the first book? Hm, I guess about a dozen or so generations of kings. And guess what? That entire time this fairy has been absent, she has not granted a single gift or punishment. She's way too scared she'll mess up again.

But back to her again later. Now, let me introduce you to today's main heroes. Princess Lark, upset because none of the castle children ever dare to let the princess lose at anything. They must think she's a complete idiot, too, because they don't even try. In hide-and-seek, they put one foot behind a tree, or stand behind a bush that barely even rises to their waist. Yep, another lonely princess.

And of course Robin is lonely too. But I would actually think he has much more excuse than anyone else in the series (except maybe Marigold; maybe the two are tied or something). Anyways, Robin is the youngest of three sons to the village baker. His father is clever; he makes up poetry. His brothers are clever; they make up new words. And then there's Robin; he makes up jokes. But no one ever lets him finish them, and he's dubbed a fool and a slacker.

One day, Robin's family makes a delivery to the royal family. Robin manages to slip off and runs into Lark. Of course Robin is thrilled when he tries a joke on her and she laughs; and of course Lark is thrilled when he plays catch with her and times his jokes to make her miss.

I must say, this is my favorite couple of the entire series. It might even be my favorite storyline too - this or Cinderellis and the Glass Hill. Ms. Levine ended terrifically and left me begging for more. And the way she ended the story itself? Very nicely done. You might argue that she had the original fairytale for that, to which I reply, "You've obviously never read the book for yourself."

Please don't just take my word for it. Get the series for yourself! You can get each story individually, or you can get them all in a single book titled The Fairy's Return and Other Princess Tales. Now, shoo! Off to the bookstore or library or amazon (via Internet; should you decide to physically go to the Amazon Rainforest, make sure to send me pictures, please) with you!

For Biddle's Sake

Up next, For Biddle's Sake, is another combination of fairy tales. The beginning is reminiscent of "Rapunzel" in that the father risks his neck to steal food from a powerful being - in this case being a fairy. But instead of stealing for his pregnant, parsley-craving wife, he steals for his sweet daughter who refuses to eat anything except parsley.

The fairy, though angry, falls in love with the girl Parsley's sweet smile and takes the child to live in the fairy's castle.

Later, the storyline picks up that of "Puddocky." We introduced to the three princes: Tansy and his twin older trouble-making brothers who blame everything on Tansy. Ripping the Royal Robe, breaking the Royal Scepter, laming the Royal Steed - you name it, the twins did it and convinced the king Tansy did it.

I'm going to skip most of the plot this time. I'll only say Parsley fell in love with Tansy before they even met, which made her fairy crazy with jealousy. She tried to turn Tansy into a frog, but Parsley jumped in the way, causing the curse to fall on her instead.

Now, deviating from the plot, let me just say that this particular story is one definitely suited for fans of the series. Ms. Levine makes several references to her former Princess Tales books. Frogs are a constant thing throughout the book, and each kind of frog is named after a former character in the series. As Prince Tansy searches for a bride, he remembers his history lessons of all the former queens of Biddle. And as Parsley uses her spyglass here and there in Biddle she sees two characters from the previous book who are still alive.

If ever a book was made for fans, this was it. And there's more, too, for those of you willing to look a bit closer. So what are you waiting for? There's very likely a copy of this book waiting for you at a nearby library or something. ;)

Cinderellis and the Glass Hill

After Princess Sonora's story is the story of a young inventor and a lonely princess in Cinderellis and the Glass Hill. Contrary to the title, this story has little connection to the classic story of Cinderella. The only similarities I noticed were Cinderellis's name and the fact that there's something made of glass that generally is made of other materials.

The storyline follows more closely the second part of the title: The Glass Hill, which is itself its own fairy tale. It gives more depth of character to the main and supporting characters, and even to the horses.

Poor Cinderellis is lonely. His older brother don't appreciate him, barely even acknowledge him except to jeer. He works hard at farming and is a great success, but his real talent is inventing. He invents flying powder, shrink powder, sticky powder, wet powder, underground umbrellas to keep plants safe from floods, and much, much more. And eventually, he obtains three horses of his own, each more beautiful and powerful than the last. But he's still lonely.

Princess Marigold is lonely, too. The castle children are all too shy to play with her, and her father is too busy on foolish quests to spend much time with her. She despises all of his quests, especially since he never brings home anything useful. She'd still hate them anyways, though; she once vowed that if he did manage to bring her back a genie in a lamp, she would wish for her father to stay at the castle with her more often. At least she has her cat to keep her company.

Then: disaster for Marigold, opportunity for Cinderellis. The king declares a contest for his daughter's hand in marriage. Whatever knight could climb to the princess (as she sat at the top of a glass hill) and take three golden apples from her would get to marry her and immediately inherit half the kingdom.

Cinderellis goes to work improving his sticky powder, determined to win the three apples, sell them, set up his own inventor's stand in town, and marry a sweet dairymaid he met.

Marigold goes to work (in disguise) getting to know the contestants, and is horrified by what she learns: each of the knights she speaks to would make terrible kings - one even swore he would drown her cat, unaware he was speaking to the true princess. The only semi-decent man she spoke with wouldn't even be able to compete - he was a farmboy, not a knight, so he wouldn't have any armor. She came up with a plan, olive oil, to ensure none of the knights ever made it to the top.

How does this unlikely couple finally work things out? How do they vanquish loneliness once and for all? Does the cat survive? And what's with the flea big enough to fill a teacup? Find out for yourself: Cinderellis and the Glass Hill, by Gail Carson Levine.

Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep

Up next is the story of a girl who was actually born a princess; this one is based off of The Sleeping Beauty. The infant princess Sonora is given gifts by seven fairies who each try to outdo the others, when an eighth fairy bursts in, livid at being forgotten. She curses the baby to eventually prick her finger and die.

Of course we all know this part: the last of the original fairies has yet to give her gift, so she tweaks the curse so that instead of death, Sonora and the entire castle will sleep for a hundred years, woken when a prince kisses Sonora. Still unwilling to take chances, the king and queen order not just spindles, but just about everything sharp in the castle, to be locked away in a highly secure shed.

But Sonora doesn't want to just sit back and wait for the curse to find her. One of her fairy gifts was that she was ten times as smart as anyone else. So as a toddler, she goes to the shed, picks all the locks, and relocates a spindle back to her nursery. She determined to prick herself at the best possible moment.

Unfortunately, her smartness didn't go over great with everyone - ahem, well, anyone, really. She learned and learned and learned, and she came up with ideas to do things in better and more efficient ways. She even came up with a theory to grow skinless potatoes, "which would save hours of peeling!"

But people are stuck in their ways, and they didn't want some little brat telling them how to do their jobs. Even her parents were unresponsive to Sonora's attempts to help.

You know what? I'm going to end it here. What happens to lead up to her pricking herself? Was it truly the best possible moment? What does she do in the meantime? What's the prince like that will supposedly wake her and her castle? What drives him to make that attempt?

Get the book and find out. ;)

The Princess Test

Second in The Princess Tales series is The Princess Test. As you might gather from its name, this is a retelling of the old story "The Princess and the Pea."

Lorelei is the story's main character, and Prince Nicholas takes the leading male role. Prince Nicholas's story is more or less generic: he's a prince who respects his people and their jobs and has to put up with the strange whims of his "perfect" royal parents.

Lorelei is a blacksmith's daughter. As she grows up, she more or less needs everything to be perfect, or she simply won't put up with it. As a baby and toddler, she cried to get her way. As a child and teenager, she explained what she needed. She grew up more or less spoiled, but with a sweet temperament.

Then her mother dies. Her father swears never to marry again, because the old stories say nothing but bad things about stepmothers. Instead, he hired a housekeeper, and set out on a journey across the country to attend an earl's horses.

Lorelei tries to help out the new housekeeper, but something got in her way - the same thing that had always gotten in her way ever since she stopped crying about everything: she got sick or had accidents. When she tried washing a dish, her arms got a rash from the soapy water. When she tried the spinning wheel, she either drew blood or created a tangled mess. Et cetera.

Needless to say, the housekeeper was not happy with her new ward. Murderous thoughts began running through her mind. Finally, she got Lorelei stranded. In a forest. In the rain. At night.

Meanwhile, Prince Nicholas is dealing with problems of his own. His parents have decided it's high time he married and began king, but they wouldn't dare accept anything less than perfect bride. So they devise a series of tests that no one less than a true princess could possibly pass.

Nicholas is sure they're going to end up marrying him to a monster. Besides, his heart belonged to someone else.

You're probably seeing pretty clearly where I'm going with this. However, get the book and read it for yourself. I promise you won't be disappointed. The actual flow and detail of the story was not done justice in my summary, and nothing I say can properly appreciate the subtle humor throughout the chapters.

The Fairy's Mistake

Gail Carson Levine is one of my favorite authors. Her book series The Princess Tales are short, sweet, and highly entertaining. Now that she has finished the series, they've been combines into one normal-sized book. Maybe I should start a series, talking about each tale - one a day.

I guess I'll decide tomorrow if I want to continue it or not. But first up in the series is the story The Fairy's Mistake.

Some of you may have heard of the old fairy tale about the fairy who blessed a sweet young girl with the ability to speak precious gems, and cursed the girl's rude sister to speak snakes and bugs. That's what this story is based on, but with a twist.

The two girls are twins. Myrtle is the rude one, and Rosella is the kind one. While it's true that at first the fairy seemed to have given perfectly just rewards, things start unravel rather quickly.

Rosella agrees to marry the prince who falls in love with her ability to create riches, but everyone in his castle (especially the prince himself) not only won't let her not speak, but won't listen to a word she says. Myrtle and her mother nearly get into an argument, but just as Myrtle begins to speak, her mother fearfully apologizes, giving Myrtle an idea.

So Rosella is forced to speak but given no real say in anything, and her prince's greed eventually makes her sick - literally, and very dangerously. Meanwhile, Myrtle marches around town and puts together a party for herself. A few words in each place was enough to buy Myrtle attendance and gifts from everyone in town.

You can imagine that the fairy who caused all this is getting very anxious. When Rosella heals too slowly for the fairy's liking, the fairy finally decides it's way past interfering time.

How does it happen? Read the book and find out! In the end, everyone gets what they want - heroes and antagonists alike.

Alarm Clocks

I had the perfect topic to talk about last night as I fell asleep. Now I can't remember what it was. Just so you know, it was going to inspire you. You were going to gasp in shock and awe of the depth of my wisdom.

But now you're just going to have to put up with my craziness again.

You want to know my favorite type of alarm clock? The kind that doesn't wake me up.

You want to know me second favorite kind of alarm clock? The kind that doesn't beep at me annoyingly when it finally goes off and I'm ready for it.

I currently have the best alarm clock possible - it combines my two favorites. It's going to go off in about three minutes as I'm typing this. And when it does, it'll be chimes rather than beeping, because that's how it's made. With wind chimes. And a thing at the bottom of the chimes to set them off when there's no wind. Because who here has the ability to make wind make their alarm clocks go off at just the right time?

*points to one person with their hand up* You. Are incredible. Can you teach me? No? Aww, grr...

My alarm clock just went off. Maybe it's a sign I should wrap this up now. So, good morning everybody! Have a great day and, as my high school teacher says, a better tomorrow! Not that that means I won't post this again tomorrow. Not that that means that I will, either, though.

You'll have to wait... and see... Mwahahaha!